Unchained Melody

(and possibly an unhinged one)

It’s that rather touching thing happening all over again. Event Y happens and, all of a sudden, you realise (thanks to social media) there are thousands and thousands of absolute world experts on Y that you never even knew existed.

In the interests of fairness I’m going to hold my hand up and plead guilty in an attempt to get a lesser sentence. It’s fun (and usually makes for a more interesting read) when you can be forthright and pretend that you actually know what you’re talking about.

Back when I was actually doing science, trying to further the boundaries of knowledge and wotnot, I was rather taken with Einstein. I mean, who wouldn’t be? He was, for me, the quintessential ‘big picture’ guy. He’d take a seemingly simple idea, like the fact that gravitational and inertial masses appear to be the same, and end up changing our entire worldview.

In my vanity this was an approach I tried to emulate in my career. Ah - the folly and hubris of youth (mixed in with more than just a smidgeon of Dunning-Kruger). Alas, I bear about as much resemblance to Einstein as a bracelet of plastic beads does to a Cartier diamond version. Describing me as a budget Einstein would be something of a promotion for me.

The plastic beads of commentary we get on issue Y these days are fun and often sound insightful, and maybe some of them truly are, but very, very, few of us are in a position to be able to properly make that assessment.

So, with that in mind, I’m going to throw caution to the wind and talk about Iran. Have I, overnight, become an expert on Iran? Erm, no. On global politics? Erm, no. On US military capabilities? Erm, no.

But, hey, everyone else is playing that game - so I’m going to join in.

Just in case you’ve not heard yet, over the last few days there has been something of a kerfuffle going on in the Middle East.

In one version of this story we have the dastardly mind-control beams of Tel Aviv being launched directly into the orange brain of Obergruppenführer Trump. Bibi says ‘jump’ and the Trump Administration, allegedly, says “Wie hoch?”

Trump, it seems, is one of those rare re-incarnations of Hitler that actually really, really, loves Jews.

Unfortunately, those Jewish mind-control beams don’t seem to work all that well on anyone but the Americans. For a bunch of people who are said to “control the world” they’re not all that good at it, really.

The sheer confidence with which many assert that Trump is merely doing Bibi’s bidding in Iran, and in other matters, is rather amusing. These people, presumably, have never been in a mutually beneficial relationship. What exists between the US and Israel is more in the nature of a partnership than any kind of dictatorship (either way) and I would suggest even within that the US very much holds the upper hand.

But no, it’s not like that at all. Trump is just Bibi’s poodle according to many. Sheesh. The most powerful and wealthy country that has ever existed on planet Earth is being led around, and told what to do, by a tiny, tiny, country of some 10 million people. Of course it is, of course it is. More dried frog pills Bursar!

None of us (or as close to none of us that it makes no significant difference) actually know what discussions/arrangements have been going on ‘behind the scenes’. The only people who do know are not going to tell you. They’re going to present you with a story. A story for public consumption. All we can do is to speculate about the real content of those arrangements and discussions.

I think the decision to ‘do something about Iran’ was made quite some time ago. One factor in that decision will undoubtedly have been Israel’s willingness to take the fight directly to Iran - something that changed after Oct 7th. As people are so very fond of saying - actions have consequences. The pro-Pally-Lallies will tell you that Hamas’ invasion of Israel was a (justified) consequence of Israel’s actions. And I’m here to say that Israel’s response was a justified consequence of Hamas’ actions.

I think after Oct 7th the Lion lost patience and became prepared to act more decisively than it had before. Decades of measured restraint (albeit still being arguably ‘oppressive’ and overly aggressive in the eyes of many), in which US pressure towards caution and compromise will have been a significant factor, have not made Israel a safer place. The various generous offers to create a genuine two-state solution have been rejected with no spirit of compromise whatsoever. But compromise is not Hamas’ way. Never has been. Never will be.

Hamas is but one head of the Hydra of Iran.

Actions to remove threats, at this level, have a human cost. There’s just no way to fight monsters without it. This is true irrespective of who you decide is the ‘monster’. Hamas and the pro-Pally-Lallies cast Israel as the monster and their actions to fight their perceived monster come with a human cost. Israel casts Hamas as the monster and their actions to fight that monster come with a human cost.

Personally, I’d rather be on the side of the ‘monster’ that tells people it’s going to attack, sends them text messages to help them get to safety, drops devices that shake buildings to tell anyone in there to get the hell out before the real thing hits in a couple of minutes. They seem to be decent monsters.

I don’t really want to side with the monsters who can indiscriminately butcher, rape and burn people and film themselves taking such delight in doing it. That’s definitely more of a yukky monster in my view.

But after Oct 7th the whole cost/benefit thing fundamentally changed for Israel, I think. I think they realized that, at some point, they were going to have to take the fight to Iran. The fact that this also aligned with US interests is fortunate - but not in any way evidence that the US were somehow ‘dragged into’ a war it did not want. The US, I’m sure, had made its own separate determination that Iran needed to be dealt with, and for reasons that made sense within a US context.

You don’t have to agree with those reasons (whatever they truly are - and we’ll never fully know) but painting the US as some sort of clueless cuck not being able to decide what to do on its own and just being led around by Israel is, frankly, a ludicrous position to take.

Trump seems to be, in the eyes of many, something of a Schrödinger’s Dictator. He’s a king - forcefully, unconstitutionally, illegally, decisively, imposing his will on the hapless American people whilst being, simultaneously, weak and passed from Israeli pillar to post at the behest of Bibi.

Of course Israel has an influence on US policy. There’s the other side of that coin too in the influence the US has had on Israeli policy. That’s what happens within any kind of mutually beneficial relationship or partnership. Influence, however, is not determinism. Of course there’s going to be a mutual consideration going on - why wouldn’t there be? They’re allies and friends. I would hope, if Starmer hasn’t actually killed our friendship with the US, that us in the UK have some degree of mutual influence like this (obviously the US has rather more influence cards in its deck to play).

I don’t know what’s going to happen in Iran. None of us do. We can hope for the best, but still have to plan for the worst. We can hope, fervently hope, that the US and Israel are laying the foundations for the Iranian people to take back control of their country from the demented religious arsepipes. If Iran can re-emerge as a civilized country, and not some fundamentalist hellhole like it has been for far too long, the benefits to the world (and also to US interests) will be substantial.

But that might not happen. We just don’t know at this stage.

One scenario - and I have no idea how possible and/or desirable this is, is for Reza Pahlavi to return to Iran and take up leadership. And this is where Unchained Melody comes in. It was, as I understand it, originally written as the song for a movie about a guy in prison longing for his loved one. It’s not a bad fit as the current song for Reza.

Simple, but beautiful, melody, amazing vocal technique and performance. Let’s lose ourselves for a moment in the music and, temporarily, forget about the bombs and the death and the hopeful longing of a (truly) oppressed people.