The Slithy Toves have Gimbled in the Wabe

Governments : misinformation and disinformation are dangerous

Translation : we can’t sufficiently manipulate the population unless we control the flow of information

We’ve lived through this very exercise during the Pantodemic, the Masks of Miracle, and the subsequent Jabathon of Joy.

Much of our performative and theatrical ‘response’ to the CoronaDoom was inspired by the modelling of Professor Dweeb Burbleson of Impractical College. He missed a trick in his initial efforts, though. He didn’t include masks. Files exclusively revealed to me this week by his assistant Dr. Notta Clew show their latest work which includes masking.

I’ve noticed quite a bit of pushback against the recent Cochrane review of NPI’s - particularly with regard to masking. Those with a maskerbation fixation seem to be trying to convince everyone that the review doesn’t say what it actually says. It’s a bit technical, and so I’ve spent many hours poring over the report and condensing it down to a more easily digestible form.

Masks are shit

But, according to most governments, masks were a bloody miracle. Cheap, effective, and safe - with the added bonus that they didn’t need to see the fugly faces of the serfs who were serving drinks during their maskless parties and gatherings.

You really want these miserable excrescences telling you what is, and isn’t, true?

I certainly don’t.

The noble and brave Mouth of Sauron Jacinda Ardern, before she got tired, summed it up perfectly

Governments are telling us that misinformation and disinformation are dangerous. Well, if they’re telling us that, it must be true, right?

Have no fear ye plebs, ye cowering carls, ye misbegotten minions. The academics are here to save us all.

There’s a whole new ‘studies’ discipline. It will no doubt soon rank amongst the splendours of such bastions of intellect and rationality as gender studies, queer studies or whiteness studies which are the pride and joy of the Departments of Vogon Poetry¹.

Who can forget one of their most famous stanzas?

Like jowling meated liverslime, Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes, And hooptiously drangle me, With crinkly bindlewurdles, mashurbitries.

It is easier to understand than a Judith Butler quote, at any rate.

I refer, of course, to the newly-created discipline of Disinformation Studies.

We are saved. Neil like a Ferguson and prostrate thy selves before thy saviours.

We can trust the ‘experts’ . . . .

. . . . can’t we?

I’m pleased to see that physicists aren’t included in the list. We’re probably not expert enough to manipulate understand public opinion.

This coterie of august and jubilant Jabberwocks will be available 24/7 to tell us the ‘truth’ which they have been able to mystically divine through the magic of their pooled expertise.

They did try to set up a government department for this - I forget the name of the departmental head, something like Wotta Wankerwicz I think, but it all fell apart because she chose to use a song from the white supremacist movie Mary Poppins (which included black face).

Plans had to be shelved and so it was back to the short march through the institutions approach and the establishment of a new ‘academic’ discipline.

What surprises me (or maybe it doesn’t) is the number of people, presumably more associated with the ‘left’, who think this is a good thing - who are cheering it on. It’s definitely a bit weird that the erstwhile champions of free speech, of giving the lower caste a voice, are so very much in favour of rigorous restrictions on it these days.

Even advocating for free speech², these days, is sufficient for you to be flung into the moral sin bin of “far rightness”.

It’s a right wing (gasp!) talking point.

Yes - because things that are talked about can be easily dismissed as just, erm, talking points. This is another one of those phrases that doesn’t make much sense, like stochastic terrorism. It’s a deflection designed to imply that because some group is talking about something it can be dismissed. Obviously, it is the stuff they’re NOT talking about that we should take seriously.

But again, have no fear. The Jabberwock Junta spearheading these new departments of disinformation studies will be at hand to psychically determine stuff like the ‘truth’ and the correct opinions that are permissible for you to have. They’ll be able to determine the truth of any talking, or non-talking, point for you.

And their coffers will be overflowing with government grant money.

1. Source : Douglas Adams, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

2. And, for heaven’s sake don’t ever go to a lecture discussing “free speech” - you’ll need counselling afterwards (This is not me being snarky. At least one university did indeed offer counselling after a lecture on free speech on their campus).