There’s some lass called Sydney Sweeney who has, apparently, been creating something of a stir in some regions. She is said to be causing a rise in something - at least in a certain section of the population.
Up until about 15 minutes ago I had no idea who she was. Having now spent some of that time on Google (mostly on the images) I can say with some self-authority that she’s reasonably easy on the eye - and has at least a couple of attractive features. One might even say she has good genes.
Oh . . . hang on
People, of a certain kind (can you guess which ones?), are getting their progressive panties into something of a tortuous tangle over this. She appeared in an ad. You’ll not be all that surprised to learn that it was for a clothing retailer who appreciated that her good genes made her look good in their jeans.
Oh what jolly wordplay.
Apparently this was some kind racisterosity, or bigotation, or Nazirology. Somewhere, probably, there’ll be some keyboard kretin (just like me) furiously typing away about how the ad is also transphoberific.
I’m sure The Patriarchy™ must be involved too, somewhere along the line.
Dig a bit deeper and it’ll be the Jews behind it - it always is. American Eagle, the retailer in question, is probably a leading light in the powerful secret organisation Jeans For Judaism. Hands off our jeans you filthy Zionists!
I’m thinking of promoting a new waxing technique for ladies in support of Palestine. I’m going to call it the Gaza Strip.
The ad campaign has been criticized for being ‘Nazi’ - presumably because stormtroopers looked good in denim? Something like that anyway. Probably.
(Thanks to Coco McShevitz on Substack for that great pun)
But what really got me laughing like a drain1 was MSNBC’s response
Oh no, not an unbridled cultural shift towards whiteness. However are we going to survive?
And it’s not just any shift - it’s an unbridled one.
Personally, I prefer bridled shifts, but that’s just me.
Leaving aside the usual tendency of the Persons of Pronoun, the nanowits we call the ‘woke’, to throw around vaguely technical jargon without ever being able to properly define what they mean by it, I was really quite taken aback.
I mean we’ve had nigh on 2 decades, maybe more, of people trying to ‘dismantle’ whiteness2. Institutions are now so DEI’d-in-the-wool with it all you can use the average corporate employee handbook as a textbook for any university humanities course.
What have they been doing all this time? Haven’t they dismantled the stuff yet?
They’ve had all the institutional power, and then some, and what have they achieved with it?
Even worse, because of the orange triple Hitler having, somewhat inconveniently, won the last election, it’s now OK not to hate white people - at least in the US.
To my US friends - I’d love to have you over here in the UK for a visit - but, sadly, all the hotels have been pre-booked by our government.
I fear for you all. I just don’t know how you’re going to cope with all that whiteness that is now galloping across the US in a wholly unbridled fashion. Christ almighty, you might even start having to turn up to work on time, what with punctuality and timekeeping being a key feature of whiteness and all.
The headline3 suggests the ad is ugly and startling. That’s a bit unfair - I mean isn’t that just beauty-shaming? Sydney is being hauled over the woke coals for being attractive and being a bit of a jean genie. Perhaps if I rubbed those jeans 3 times she’d grant my wish?
Nah - she’s just a mean jean queen seen between keen screens being unclean
An idiom from the UK that, allegedly, derives from the sounds sewers used to make as they gurgled away and did their thing
I went to the paint store and had a bit of an epiphany. I realized my whiteness was more Alpine Morning Sun White than Mongolian Yak Milk White. I’m not sure which kind of whiteness is more politically acceptable - I live in hope that I’m the right shade of whiteness to avoid the more serious unpleasant consequences
I decided not to even bother trying to read the article itself. I have more important things to do - like building a scale model of the Taj Mahal from my toe-nail clippings
We have these fuckers on the run. The smell of their rancid flop-sweat fills the air. The worst thing Ms Sweeney could do now is give one of those prisoner apologies like so may others have done where she grovels and promises to do the work to learn more about her failures because she knows she must do better etc ect.
NO!!! She should rise up tall like a Valyrie, spit contemptuously, and tell those worthless pieces of shit, those harridans, those banshees, those foul hags to go pound sand up their arses! An entire beach of rough, abrasive sand! If she does that then we know the war on woke has truly been won. If she doesn't, well...there is more to be done before we triumph. Never fear though, triumph will will, over the forces of darkness.
The Gaza strip 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣