The Confluence of Effluence
I have trained my eldest daughter well. I have managed to get her to appreciate the majestic and subtle art of the “Dad joke”. So much so, that she now sends me some fine examples, like the following
If you eat your tin-foil hat, do you sheet metal?
Although my personal favourite takes a lot of beating
Why are the Norwegians putting barcodes on their battleships? So they can Scandinavian.
It’s not all just mindless fun, though. As a result of this last joke I watched a documentary on how they built battleships. It was riveting.
Humour is not only a great antidote to the madness, it’s also one of the things that draw us together as human beings. Yes, there is a lot of suffering in the World, there are many things to be worried about, but a smile a day keeps the bullshit away.
And we’re drowning in shit. Not the terrible plague of cow poop and methane the greater Greta graters would have us believe is an existential threat to humanity, but the monsoon of manure from the loose bowels of the woke movement.
In my last piece I talked about the particularly loose stool that is the notion of stochastic terrorism and whilst this is not something actually designed and developed in the bathrooms of the R&D Departments of Wokeville, it has been gleefully ingested and re-purposed by the woke muck-spreaders.
The last 2 decades has witnessed a deluge, a dumping of epically deranged droppings of the loosest of deconstructions. We no longer live in the First World, but in the Turd World. And you’re guano love it - or else.
But I’m perhaps being too scattish.
I should have been a little more organized, deployed a little more foresight, and actually collected and catalogued the many thousands of examples of loose lunacy I’ve read about over the last six years or so since I became aware of the woke stench. They’re like an army of mini-Midases - except that everything they touch is most definitely not turning into gold.
It’s hard to remember all of the great examples of this veritable defecation of derangement but one of my favourites was the black mayor of some small town in the US who phoned up the local police to investigate the racist attack she suffered. Someone, overnight, had painted thousands of little yellow dots on her car. Maybe it was an army of very tiny little racists who had targeted her vehicle? The officer who arrived on the scene had to patiently explain that it was pollen from bees, although I think she rejected that explanation. I presume the bees were wearing tiny little white pillowcases on their heads.
Whilst I may not have remembered all of the details of this incident with 100% accuracy, it is instructive as to the mindset engendered by the continual muck-spreading.
We’ve had BLM (the Beautifully Loose Movement) telling us we need to disintegrate the nuclear family, dismantle capitalism, Buy Large Mansions, and try to do our civic duty by polishing floors with our knees. If we all just did our bit we’d have shiny floors in no time. I think they were supposed to have helped black people along the way, although it’s hard to actually pinpoint how the millions of dollars of donations they received have actually been useful in that regard. It’s certainly helped some black people live very comfortable lives with swimming pools and tennis courts and lots of bathrooms.
The central problem remains, despite the best efforts of BLM. The domestic terrorist organization known as “The Cops” are still roving around in their squad cars looking for any opportunity to gun down a black person as they go about their lawful business. So many people are afraid to send their kids to school in case they fall victim to one of these roving menaces. It’s absolutely the highest cause of death in the black community and one we all need to be aware of.
Although, I hope, you have picked up on the extremely subtle sarcasm of the last paragraph (which, I suppose, is an example of meta-sarcasm), there are people who do, genuinely, seem to think like this.
And this is what grows after excessive muck-spreading. All sorts of gnarled and twisted growths take root and crowd out the more fragile shoots of common sense.
To be fair, this kind of thing has also happened with the spreading of the covid slurry by governments and the media. We’ve all, to some extent, ingested the CoviLax™ pills. The febrile fecundity that has emerged as a consequence has led to all sorts of weird and wonderful growths; from those who won’t leave their house unless encased in plastic to those who think that the vaccines turn us into Magneto so we can be switched on and off by those 5G towers.
It’s hard not to fall victim to this kind of fevered thinking when you have to spend 99% of the day cleaning off the shit that has been liberally sprinkled upon you in a vain effort to try not to let any of it stick - and I’ve certainly indulged in the cultivation of a few gnarly conspiratorial growths - this article included.
What strikes me as significant, however, is not any one particular bastion of bonkerishness. It’s the sheer number of them. It seems like everything we thought we knew and cherished about the world and its people is being dismantled and deconstructed in a catastrophically short timescale.
The confluence of all of these seemingly disparate strands of indigestible fibrous waste is concerning me. We have climate change, gender ideology, health security and safetyism, the many varied flavours of racism in all its forms, institutions that are irredeemably whiter than white with a whole new level of whiteness that detergent manufacturers can only be jealous of, colonization and, perhaps appropriately for this article, de-colon-ization, various ways of doing naughty things to information (like dissing it or malling it), and we’re in the process of de-fertilizing our farms so that the food we eat isn’t going to be so much farmed anymore as Pharmed because there just won’t be enough of the real stuff to go round. I sometimes long for the days when the only things to poke fun at were the excesses of nth wave feminism.
I’m not trying to suggest that without the spreading of the woke slurry everything would be just fabulous. It certainly wouldn’t be. But if we look at the trend - and it is an accelerating trend - it is towards an ever greater degree of centralized control and an imposition of more and more restrictions. It matters little whether it’s the governments, or the conglomerates, or the technocrats wielding these powers. We’re galloping towards a totalitarianism that is supra-governmental in its scope.
Governments are largely singing from the same hymn sheet - funereal dirges of woe. This is most evident in the case of climate change where the push is to turn the clock back and to limit what the peasants are able to do. To limit their privacy and their choice and their ability to dissent. To limit their horizons and to channel their thinking into accepting their lot as mere cogs in a global and restrictive machine they want us to believe will ‘save’ the planet. And if some of those cogs turn out to be not necessary, well that’s just collateral benefit as the useless eaters gradually exterminate themselves.
And we’re being conditioned to think of ourselves as cogs - that the very safety and well-being of others depends on our using paper straws or wearing masks. These may seem like ‘trivial’ examples, but they’re effective manipulations of our perceptions and perspectives.
The test-run of covid showed them that they can do it very successfully - without a shot being fired and only sporadic use of police brutality. They didn’t need to use much force - they just sprinkled enough moral manure and enough shock shit to fertilize our guilts and fears and let us do it to ourselves.
As we witness more and more dissenting voices being given a Twitter enema and cleaned from the platform we have to realise that information, even in its dis and mal forms, is precious and the people who control it control everything. They, whoever ‘they’ are, know this.
If you think that these large and influential organizations operate entirely independently of government pressure I don’t know what to tell you. Reach a certain size and/or level of influence then governments are going to be very interested in you indeed. Why do you think lobbying is such a lucrative business? That’s just at a governmental level and ignores the obvious financial gains that can be made by any individuals concerned with public/private ‘partnerships’ and cooperation.
We sometimes think of government and big business as some kind of wholly independent entities existing in a kind of necessary tension, but the relationships are good deal more incestuous and cordial.
Governments and large corporations effectively form a single management layer. You’ll get individual variations, and the occasional falling out, but by and large they operate as a harmonious unit directing things for mutual benefit. It’s not all bleak and not all bad. There are good and necessary aspects to these kinds of relationships too. But we do need to be very wary and alert to the warning signals, particularly when significant changes, which are almost always restrictive or controlling, are being proposed to our way of life, and when these changes appear to be global in nature.
When I think of the emergence of all of these major trends over the last few years, the confluence of effluence, it’s hard to see this as a kind of ‘natural’ emergence. It feels anything but natural. It feels forced.
We’re being herded towards something. That’s what it feels like.
Changing governments and voting the buggers out doesn’t really change things - it’s just a way of providing a bit of variety, a change of scene, a different window to look out of as we get shepherded towards the paddock. It’s really just a label change.
And it's a perfect time to have a loose-boweled, shi*-for-brains, Lothario of little girls lead the "free world." He is the perfect cat's poo...er, I mean paw, to usher in this new era. "And a nasty old man in urine-soaked trousers shall lead them," to invert Isaiah 6 for this crappy era.
It's going to be very hard when this relatively free internet goes away. Not sure if you're aware of this, but in the late Summer of George, in the US, conservative and Christian websites were unable to be accessed via Google for a few hours. They complety disappeared from searches. A glitch, they informed us later. And like all evidence of vote fraud later that year, our media watchdogs were not stirred from their slumber to perform even a perfunctory investigation, as far as I know. When it goes down (Putin!) and gets reorganized by the worldwide Ministry of Truth, that's when we'll know things are really getting serious.
God help us from whatever's coming.
The bucolic picture emerged in my mind, after reading this, of that day our puppy slipped her leash and raced into a large pasture. It wasn't the cows that interested her, but the enormous flock of migratory geese that had made it their way station. Puffy clouds sailed across the cerulean sky above our heads. The children and I, inadequately shod in flip-flops, raced over and under the wooden fence, our feet softly sinking into cow patties as we chased our rambunctious pup. The geese took flight, honking melodically, hundreds of them awkwardly darkening the sky as they rained wet streaks of green-gray shit upon us (and the occasional feather.) We eventually caught our dog, whose low-slung belly was as thoroughly dung-coated as our feet and ankles.
(This comment is already ridiculously long and rambling-- what's new, Diana?-- but I agree that we're being herded toward something, and there is more excrement involved than that day in the pasture. By the by, and apropros of nothing, have you ever considered hiring a sensitivity reader? I couldn't help noticing that you don't capitalize "Black.")