Politicians, ably aided and abetted by their bureaucratic blobocracy, are masters at making the flimsiest of illogical crap sound bloody wonderful. Their silken seductive voices make dumb things like NetZero sound like the most obvious and natural thing in the world to aim for.
It’s like eating one of those loaded burgers, though
The more you bite into it, the more everything goes horribly wrong.
The more you bite into it, the more you realize you’ve been sold something not quite right for consumption in its current form.
The lockdown burger was one of these. Just for a couple of weeks, they said. Just to slow things down a bit, they said. The more we bit into the lockdown burger, the more everything fell apart and degenerated into a fucking mess.
Politicians seem to be brilliant salesmen, but absolutely appallingly bad at after-sales service. When the first pile of shite they sold you breaks down (and it will) they put on their smarm and sell you a whole brand new pile of shite to ‘fix’ the pile of shite they sold you in the first place.
We can all fall for it. My mate, who is from Pakistan, has a street food analogy. Back home he would see this street vendor. The smell was enticing; the food looked delicious. Within a few seconds of the first mouthful he would think “Oh My Lord, what have I done?” as the nuclear waste he’d just eaten began to melt his oesophagus.
We should, for example, have realized that the whole mask thing was a farcical pile of shite when we had grubbyment ‘advice’ along the following lines :
Why pretty much everyone didn’t cotton on to the fact that this mask lunacy was just an utter absurdity at this point will forever remain a mystery to me.
I can see why people fell for the first bite of the mask burger; it is superficially plausible that a mask would help reduce transmission of a virus that is carried in breath.
And then we had the vaccine burger. Safe and effective, they said. The first bite, the trial data, seemed good, but then everything degenerated into another fucking mess.
But on our screens the smarmy gits told us that the vaccine would only properly work when everyone had been vaccinated. The unvaccinated were said to pose some particular risk to the vaccinated, despite them having been the beneficiaries of an effective vaccine that, they also said, was a dead end for the virus; get the jab and you won’t get infected, or ill, they said.
But fair’s fair, our Grubbyments did get some things right. Here’s a list :
They spelled “Coronavirus” correctly
Nope, can’t think of anything else.
The gender burger is the same; it sounds superficially plausible but when you bite into it, the ‘logic’ degenerates into a fucking mess.
I’m not sure whether the man on the left still has his pickle, but the one on the right certainly does. Yes, the one on the left is a transwoman. Dunno whether the entity on the right is actually a trans thingumajig, or whether it’s some poor guy who lost a bet with his drinking buddies1.
The problem is that many grubbyments want us to accept that the pickle carrier on the right could be a woman burger.
To be fair to pickle right thing, just a bit of work on that bikini line and everything would be fine.
Yes, I know we shouldn’t be judging people solely on appearance - but that’s another of those idealistic “oughts” that just doesn’t happen in the real world. We do judge people on appearances. We’re humans, not some weird robotic woke thing.
We feel that the person on the left has gone to some considerable effort, whereas the person on the right is just taking the piss.
But even with all that effort, however enticing the first bite may be, you’re probably going to get to the pickle at some point. Which is perfectly fine, if that’s your thing. No judgment from me.
The problem is that we’re being forced, by grubbyment legislation, into eating burgers that we haven’t ordered.
Most of the time this does not really matter at all - but it becomes an issue when actual sex is important. Situations in which women are vulnerable, or in women’s sports, for example. The burger analogy here would be that we’re being forced to think of those godawful vegan burgers as the real deal.
The whole grubbyment sleaze-fest on things like race, DIE, gender, covid, the next ‘pandemic’, net zero, immigration, etc are just burgers that are not fit for human consumption.
It’s all crap that degenerates into a fucking mess the moment you take that first bite.
I really wish I hadn’t started on this whole tortuous burger analogy thing; now I have this insane craving for a burger.
And that’s part of the problem. We know our politicians are, by and large, trying to entice us with stuff that looks appetizing but is going to fall apart after the first bite. It’s just that sometimes we can’t help ourselves; that Big Mac sometimes seems like the thing we most desire in the world. We always regret it after more than one bite, though.
My guess is that it’s a pic deliberately created to attack the ‘men can be women’ point of view. Some brave guy is trying to make a point. Either that or he’s the next cover model for Sports Illustrated.
Which is why you learn to disengage your jaw, so you can cram the entire thing in, in one bite.
(Which makes your metaphor* even worse, but I'm talking about burgers, kebab, gyros, falafel and rolled-up pizzas - you know, the 3:30AM food, because your drunken body needs fat and salt before shutting down.)
To extend the burger-model, we also have the variant that comes in a wrapper (not comes in a rapper, that's a different metaphor), where you merrily chomp down and feel the soggy bottom of the wrapper break apart as dressing and pink goop squirts all over the place (again, losing the 'w' from the wrapper makes it different genre).
I think the soggy wrapper-squirt is very apt for how all things Covid/mRNA-juicing has been handled.
And then we come to the end: the moring after, and our metaphorical night-time gourmand experiencing curry-squats on the loo.
I guess that'd be side-effects?
*I will to my dying day insist "metaphor" should take an 'e' at the end, in english! No matter what mrs Lundström told us in 3rd grade!
"I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today" (Wimpy, from the Popeye cartoons...)