You’ve probably heard the old joke :
Edna at the Old Folks’ Home is not very happy. She’s been dumped by Frank, her boyfriend of the past 2 years, in favour of Doris.
Edna: Why have you dumped me? Haven’t I been good to you? Haven’t I lovingly held your John Thomas at night? What has Doris got that I haven’t?
Frank: Parkinson’s
In these days of gender confusion the answer to the question “what has she got that I haven’t?” might have an entirely different answer.
In some places, California being one I believe, legislation is being enacted that would allow the state to intervene and take a child into state supervision if the parents refuse to affirm their child’s “gender identity”.
Quite apart from the subjective vagueness of a term like “gender”, or a term like “identity”, what is this word affirm?
If my child decides, after being allowed access to the wonders of the internet, that cakeself is really cake-gendered, then am I supposed to affirm that my child is, in fact, a Victoria Sponge? I’m supposed to affirm their gender identity aren’t I?
If, later on, my child decides that despite being a bit underweight she is really horribly obese, am I supposed to affirm this too?
What if he decides that he’s not just one personality but has several “others” (called alters, or headmates) living inside? Am I supposed to affirm this? For those of you interested in this, then perhaps this video (15 mins) from a channel with 1.17 million subscribers might help get you started on your exciting journey to discover new headmates within.
What if my child decides she’s “really” a deer, or disabled, or eunuch-gendered? Are these things to be affirmed too?
What is this thing called “affirmation” and what are the limits on it?
Does it only apply to the male/female binary or am I supposed to affirm whatever fucking tosh my kid comes up with after perusing several online forums and the like?
And let’s face it, as wonderful and creative and imaginative and a blessing as they are, kids do sometimes come up with the most extraordinary fucking tosh. It’s all part of learning and growing and most of the time it’s amusing and fun. Except when there’s a danger of having one’s knackers removed.
How much of our gender identity (whatever the hell that is) is based around stereotypical notions? Does a child “identify” with the opposite sex because they happen to like the things typically associated with that sex?
And if they pick up on subtle clues, as they do, which are telling them that liking “girly” stuff means they are “really” a girl - then what do you think might happen?
If they’re encouraged by well-meaning adults to think in this way (even to some extent) then affirmation becomes a kind of reinforcement therapy. Receiving positive feedback from adults is a big thing for kids. We know this. Yet when it comes to gender (whatever the fucking hell this is) if you’re a parent who doesn’t indulge affirm their child in this regard, the state can step in, in places like California, and remove that child from your care.
Even if, as a parent with a sex-confused kid, you merely question this program of affirmation with the sincerest of intents you can find yourself blacklisted and removed from groups and forums purportedly designed to help you answer these kinds of questions.
I wouldn’t trade places with any of these parents facing these kinds of issues; it must be an absolute living hell. They are being forced, by legislation the medical ‘profession’ and social pressure, to ‘care’ for their child in a very specific way - and it’s a ‘care’ that we know can lead to devastating consequences.
There is very little good quality research that indicates an ‘affirming pathway’ leads to better results (in terms of mental heath, happiness, fulfilment etc). It is probably true that for some people it helped, but it will also be true that it harmed others. Until we can reliably tell the difference we have no business being anything other than ultra-cautious when it comes to kids.
One could hardly describe affirmation as being cautious.
If you’re a grown-up then, sure, go ahead and snip the sausage. As long as you don’t expect me to pay for it I’m happy for you to do whatever you want to your own body to achieve your dreams1.
The problem is that once you start down this ‘affirming’ pathway with kids it’s very difficult, and made impossible by the legislation, to reverse course. And even if you do reverse course then you will not get back to the place you were, so to speak. A childhood is not reversible.
A child can only ever give affirmed consent, never informed consent, because it’s simply not possible for a child to properly comprehend the consequence of having their desires affirmed and granted in this regard.
A child is not a fully-developed being - they are developing beings and nothing should be set in stone. And let’s face it, it’s a bit hard to view that thing (however lovely) that’s only just learned to wipe its own ass as being intellectually and emotionally mature enough to be able to determine its own gender (a word it might not even be able to spell at this stage).
I think we really have to draw the line when it comes to kids. This ideology is dangerous and it’s messing with their heads. There is no sensible explanation, other than social contagion, for example, for the alarming rise in so-called Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria amongst girls. It’s so obviously driven by social ‘pressures’ and fears and nothing at all to do with any “innate” sense of being a different sex.
If you’re an adult - go for it. I’m not going to hate you, or mistreat you, but I’m also not necessarily going to ‘respect’ you, or your choice. That is something that is afforded on an individual basis. There is no such thing as ‘group’ respect - it’s a fantasy dreamed up by the woke who want you to base the entirety of society and your thinking on these really crude ‘group’ characteristics.
We really do have to decide what environment is best for kids to grow up in. We need to be affirming those kinds of environments.
I remain to be convinced that today’s free-for-all represents a positive development for our kids. I do not affirm.
Difficult one this - because if we accept the premise that someone with gender dysphoria is suffering from a mental illness we would perhaps want resources to be spent in helping them; just as we would for anyone with a debilitating mental condition (eg depression). But we’re explicitly told that being ‘trans’ is not an illness or a ‘condition’ requiring psychiatric treatment or assistance. If it’s not an instance of something having gone wrong which causes mental distress, then what, exactly, are we “treating” by sex reassignment surgery?
“How much of our gender identity (whatever the hell that is) is based around stereotypical notions?”
All of it, apparently. A burly bloke can put on a skirt, plaster his face in makeup in a caricature of a Maybelline ad from 1974, don high heels and speak in a squeaky voice and voila, Arthur is Martha. That’s all it takes: a personal appearance that’s no more than a cartoonish parody of how women presented themselves half a century ago.
The only good that can come of this tsunami wave of child endangerment and abuse, is that real, rational and responsible adults, grab the pendulum, the levers that set the speed and course of society, and return them to their proper place.