It’s Saturday evening and I’m feeling pleased with myself for managing to survive for another whole week. So it’s time for a bit of a rant. Yes, that’s a warning that some intemperate language may be employed.
You may, or may not, be pleased that I can report my survival after another week living in the absolute hellscape that is the UK in the era of global boiling. I didn’t venture out much, which undoubtedly prevented me from suffering some hideous end - either some nasty virus was out there waiting to pounce, or my skin would have melted from the extreme heat. According to the UN Secretary General, I might have even died from asphyxiation because, apparently, the air has become unbreathable. Take your pick of waiting doom.
In reality, of course, I didn’t go out much because it has been pissing down and is a bit too chilly to be sat out on my back deck. Apparently we’re calling the ‘extreme’ weather today scary names like Cerberus. Well, in my part of the UK at least, Cerberus has been cocking his leg and sending a steady stream of cold piss in my direction.
Yes, Yes, and bloody Yes. I know there’s a difference between weather and climate. I’m not a complete fool1. But when am I going to be able to use up the 28 gallons of factor 50 sunscreen I bought to help protect me from global warming? Hopefully sometime before the turn of the next century.
I am beginning to wish that they’d start up on the Global Freezing message again - we might get some warm weather for once!
It’s not only the UN head case honcho that can open his mouth (whilst still being able to breathe, one assumes) and spew splendiferously specious shite in great quantities, scientists are quite good at it, too. They hide it behind technical verbiage and equations, but it’s shite, nevertheless. Here’s an example of what I’m talking about.
Head on over to Watts Up With That and treat yourself to a nice deconstruction of the latest IPCC (Irredeemable Prats Concerned about the Climate) report. The part that made me giggle was the bit where the “Health Heat Index” (the HHI) was discussed. This has, surprise, surprise, increased2. We’re all doomed, buggered and boiled, I tell ya.
Oh my God - the Health Heat Index has increased. Whatever are we going to do?
(And can I get some factor 75 sunscreen? 28 gallons should do it)
Here’s what this mysterious thing is. The screenshot is taken from the Watts Up With That article
What in the ever-loving fuck IS this?
This is a gibbering wreck of an equation, an ugly and demented chimera of technical twattishness, a vomitorium of venal vindictiveness.
If you carved some gruesome neo-vagina out of my fucking skull it’d be more appealing, and meaningful, than this absolute monstrosity.
And that, my shell-shocked readers, is how the game is played. It’s scientific book cooking par excellence.
But let’s move on from the ‘climate’ and see how the political ‘climate’ is shaping up.
I learned that in Canada an experienced and highly regarded teacher had taken his own life because he couldn’t take the harassment and condemnation of the “be kind” Nazis lovely people after making a remark during one of those struggle training sessions that many working people are forced pleased to attend.
The argument seemed to be about which country, the US or Canada, was the most racist. The poor teacher questioned the statement of the total twat insightful course leader that Canada was more racist than the US.
Fuck me. Can you think of anything more ridiculous to argue about3?
How old are these woke dickheads?
Doesn’t it remind you somewhat of kids in a playground shouting “my dad can beat your dad up, any day”?
I mean, apart from presenting themselves as the most mean-spirited and nasty arseholes on the planet, why are they so fucking immature4?
But what do I know? I had the misfortune to be born white and so I’m basically a cunt.
Meanwhile, in the UK it seems that the leader of the opposition has finally figured out what a woman is5. Perhaps he asked his wife? I don’t know. More likely he realised that talking about Pamela’s pecker wasn’t helping his electoral chances.
In a few years time he’ll reverse course - because by then all of those kids who have been thoroughly confused about sex and gender at school will be able to vote.
Us old dinosaurs who like our women not to be able to use the urinals will eventually go to bigot heaven and the world will be mostly made up of people who are Enbees (NB - non-binary). Or Enbee-els as I like to call them (NBL - not bloody likely). We won’t need to worry that so-called vaccines are impacting birth rates, because the next generation won’t know what they’re supposed to be doing with their equipment in the bedroom anyway. Which of your various holes am I supposed to stick this thing in, dear? And why isn’t the erection button working?
Of course I’m exaggerating. It’s easy to spend too much time on Twitter and read too many pieces from ‘alternative’ media about the parlous state of the world today. The whole ‘gender’ thing will all lose steam eventually anyway as people realise, amongst other things, that bits of forearm do not a dick make.
And we won’t be seeing very much steam from global boiling either.
The real question is whether we’ll survive until some semblance of sanity returns. If they carry on with this program of destabilisation and fear - and the consequent ‘policies’ that will bring misery and hardship to millions - it’s hard to not be worried about massive public unrest and some pretty savage reprisals. I hope not. But I think we might be heading in that direction if things carry on as they have been.
We need to simmer down and avoid boiling too much.
I’m not sure this rant is helping this cause - but it certainly helped me!
Some parts of me are missing
It’s actually worse than this. The report says that “extreme heat” has increased - but they mean the HHI has increased.
And I’m not criticising the teacher who raised the question. It’s a tragic story, with a tragic end, over something so fucking stupid. What the hell is wrong with these woketards?
And, yes, I know this rant isn’t shaping up to be the most mature thing ever written, but at least I know I’m being childish.
Not sure where I read this - but we’ll assume it’s true for the purposes of this rant
=== I had the misfortune to be born white and so I’m basically a cunt.
Sometimes that's the only way to be, bruh ... and I say this as a DISABLED VETERAN OF COLOUR* who identifies as a GUIDED MISSILE FRIGATE*, and as a winner of the 1985 Commonwealth Games 4x400 medley relay.
(Enough of those attributes are true, for the 'proportion correct' to be worth a First in the UK system - and a solid Upper Second at a Go8 in Australia - if replicated across a scholastic career)
I'm 25% Maori, which is the same as 100% because "one drop" rules go both ways - so I can't be racist, innit.
I think it was Orwell who said "In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is being a revolutionary cunt".
Or maybe it was Arthur C Clark's "Any sufficiently insightful commentary on bullshit is indistinguishable from absolute cuntery".
All I know for sure, is that I wish people would pronounce Immanuel Kant's name properly.
As I say whenever anyone mentions the Critique Of Pure Reason: "POOR KANT*"
* Substack's weak bullshit comment system does not permit any emphasis other than UPPERCASE*. That means they are using a retarded uDemy-tier attempt to prevent SQL-injection - which means that they SKIMPED ON SECURITY* and should not be trusted with anyone's data (e.g., credit card numbers).
Can I buy you a pint? That was just getting interesting...