Look, I’m sorry. I know it’s vulgar schoolboy ‘humour’ but how else can I respond to the unfolding loony toons that seems to be the US right now as things heat up for the election in November?
I was going to refer to ducks and pussies in the title initially, but then I remembered Dick.
Dick has already had enough Bush; he was George W’s vice president for 8 years. He’s not the first person you’d think of as supporting The Vibe Queen, but Harris has snatched his endorsement. And his daughter’s.
I wonder what deal the Cheney family has made? Makes one wonder. After the ‘defection’ of RFK Jr to Trump’s campaign I suspect the Democrats really needed a high-profile defection of their own - and the Cheney family supplied not one, but two.
This election is shaping up to be a referendum on which candidate you think is going to destroy ‘democracy’ in the US.
All this is being played out against a background of illegal immigrants (from Haiti) eating ducks and cats. In Springfield. And no, it’s not an episode of The Simpsons.
Earlier this year Vermont unveiled a statue honouring the state’s first black restaurant owner.
Will Springfield honour the first Haitian restaurant owner in 2025 - the first place in the US where one can legally eat pussies in public?
What’s the next Democrat campaign slogan? Kamala, putting pussy back on the menu?
Are we going to have statues for the first Korean restaurant owner, or the first Latwinky Latinx Latino restaurant owner?
What about one for the first black person to own a bookstore in Vermont? Or a Haberdashery?
When are white liberals going to stop treating black people as if they’re mentally retarded and given what are, in effect, participation trophies?
At least it’s better than that weird thing they erected to ‘honour’ MLK Jr, a black guy who actually changed the course of history for the better. A real hero, and the author of some of the most inspiring words ever uttered with his I Have a Dream speech.
Although it’s hard to figure out exactly what Kamala stands for at the moment, back in 2019 she wanted to ensure tax payer funded gender transition surgeries for detained immigrants. I’m not sure whether she wants to dilute the US population or just dilate it.
I can’t say that the UK is any better. Here we have the BBC (the Bolshevik Broadcasting Corporation) putting out a piece on the difficulty of getting a non-binary haircut.
It’s really not that difficult. You walk into one of those hairdressing places, sit down, and tell the stylist what you’d like done with your head. And, as if by magic, half an hour or so later, you have a new haircut.
There’s definitely something that has gone very wrong, and very weird, with the way (some) people are thinking these days.
I’m beginning to think that before being allowed to vote, and after having to have your government issued photo ID checked, you should be required to state at least one policy position from each of the candidates in your borough. Or something like that.
The shift has been very noticeable, even to The Economist
There are many of us who would formerly have considered ourselves to be on the left, like me, who have watched the parties that are supposed to best represent our views sail off into a woke sunset.
I have changed a bit as I’ve gotten older, because I’m much more aware of practicalities than I used to be. I still want all the good things like fairness and justice and for the government to be there to step in when people need help, but these things require resources. You can’t resource all of these good things if your economy has been flushed down the loo, or chopped off like an illegal immigrant’s dick.
I am still somewhat awestruck by events in the US in 2024. We’ve had a sitting president revealed as being obviously incapable of doing his job, still in office. And, even worse, a whole bunch of people have conspired to defraud the American public, to hide this sad truth from them - for years.
And people still want to vote for the party that engineered this?
It beggars belief.
A party that can do this kind of thing cares not one jot for democracy do they?
There are many factors that have gone into this bizarre shift to the bizarre and it’s not just a US problem, but one that has infected much of the western world. How can one explain the ‘spontaneous’ protests that erupted over the death of St George of the Fentanyl in places thousands of miles from the US?
You have to be ‘programmed’ to view the world, and your societies, in a particularly narrow and absurd way for this to happen. You have to have been taught that your history is one of shame, that everything your country has ever achieved has been stolen from others, or rests entirely on their labours. You have to believe that the very same forces in play centuries ago are still operating today, only worse, and that these malignancies are baked into the very systems upon which your society operates.
The elites have us by the balls or, if you’re a gender-confused illegal immigrant they may have them in a jar. There are malignancies built into the system, but they’re not the ones that are being taught to schoolkids. A whole generation is being taught to hate their own culture, to hate their history, to hate their society and its achievements.
Why? Because they need to “build back better”, they want to create a more global and ‘inclusive’ framework - and what better way to lay the foundations for that than to get people to hate where they’ve come from, to hate everything about their country? To welcome a flood of people who do not share this culture that is so hated?
Immigration can be a wonderful thing, if it’s done right. You want people to come in who might enhance an existing culture, who respect your values and your traditions but who, nevertheless, also bring something new and positive.
I suppose the Haitian immigrants in Springfield are bringing in new techniques of pet management.
I’m not from the US and don’t live there so I cannot claim to have anything other than a very rudimentary grasp of American culture. But isn’t the Constitution sort of woven into things at almost a biological level? Isn’t it in the very soul of what it means to be an American?
The question US voters need to be asking themselves is which party is going to best defend that Constitution.
May God Bless America (and its cats and ducks)
I used to consider myself to be left leaning. My parents voted for the Labor (that's how they spell it in Australia) Party all their lives, as did I for many years.
I belonged to a union and I was a strong supported of public health, public schooling, workers rights and a strong social security system to support those less fortunate and able than myself. All that good, socialist stuff. Solidarity, Brother!
But then somehow, to be on the left also required me to not just tolerate but enthusiastically promote homosexuality, drag queens, transgenderism, a tsunami of immigrants, BLM, Islam, antisemitism, rape gangs and general cultural replacement by effeminate fools, paedophiles, fuckheads, arseclowns, inbred dimwits, suicide bombers and knife murderers .
And I'm not down with that shit. Fuck 'em. I still support traditional left things like public health, public schooling etc, but as for the rest of the "modern lefts" bullshit, well, they can wrap it in their greasy keffiyahs, knot it with razor wire, and shove it up their collective arses.
And as for that scrawny, pallid, smug, petulant, whining, solipsistic, self entitled, piss-weak, pencil-knecked, needle-dicked, miniature Scottish toad from the BBC who can't even tell someone how to cut his hair, it made me long to be back on a parade ground bellowing drill instructions at a platoon of recruits with him right there in front of me wearing a nice 1 mm buzz cut and a frightened expression. I'd pay money to be able to do that. Or maybe they was a non-binary she. I dunno. Who the fuck cares what those imbeciles think, anyway?
I'm holding out for Democrats erecting the first statue to honour the first negro to stand on his or her hind legs.
Because that's what they are doing - honouring someone for doing something anyone can do and also did, but only because of the skin colour (or race as the yanquis persist in calling culture and ethnicity). Therefore, logically, they can erect statues honouring the first negro to use a table setting in the proper manner (Victorian), or brushing their teeth, or using soap, or...
Bleh. I feel like I need to heave.
Why not a statue to honour the first Paddy to snatch a PhD at "Oxbridge"? Or the first Jock to wear undergarments? Or the first Limey to not use the wet teaspoon in the sugar bowl?
We need to invest in the statue-making business I think. This is an effing gold mine, it is. First Lancastrian to prefer haggis over tripe-statue. First Swede to not drink and go downhill skiing in the Alps. First Russian driving sober. First American with a BMI under 40.
You know what, you should shoot off an e-mail to some rowdy raunchy British stand up-comedian (or comedienne) and see if they can't do a skit about "First statue to honour X doing Y". Or for the completely humourless version, sugggest it to Piers Morgan.