Things ain't what they used to be

Many moons ago I remember conversations with my male friends and colleagues discussing the physical attributes we liked in women. Sexist? Probably. But come on ladies - I know you sometimes do the same kind of thing (although perhaps with a smidgeon more finesse).

All the usual suspects were included - big boobs, small boobs, legs, big rumps, small rumps, a pretty face, a nice smile, and so on. It transpired that basically we liked pretty much anything with a pulse that was vaguely female shaped.

Way to go Team Testosterone.

Interestingly, nobody ever said “I really like women with beards, and testicles the size of house bricks”

These days, if your knuckle-dragging testosterone-crazed average guy doesn’t want to sleep with someone with, shall we say, some unexpected equipment in the nether regions they are described (by some) as bigoted, or worse.

This attempt to radically change well-established meanings and understandings is evident elsewhere. It’s fairly common, for example, to hear the view that racism can only be perpetrated by those in positions of power and privilege. People not in ‘power’ or not possessing this ‘privilege’ can express their bigotry, and get cheered on for it, with a far greater degree of impunity.

Can’t remember the guy’s name, but a few years ago I listened to an interview with a fairly well-known media personality in which he talked about how people lacking melanin were savage, immoral and barbarous. He did get told off by his employers - but only for the anti-Semitic comments he also made during that interview. No doubt if they ever do a remake of Star Wars it won’t be the concentration of midichlorians that lead to Jedi powers, but melanin concentration.

I watched footage of the Jan 6th “insurrection” in the US and remember thinking it was the lamest insurrection I’d ever seen. They certainly don’t make ‘em like they used to. I’ve seen more “threats” to democracy at my kid’s school Nativity play - although this was pre-covid, because these days we definitely don’t want the baby Jesus to catch covid - and so the Angel of the Lord has to stay CovidSafe™ on his heavenly cloud.

Unfolding before us, right now, or so the media would have us believe, is an insurrection in Canada. People are dancing, making food for one another and generally having a good time. But we know it’s an insurrection because they’ve brought along their most deadly and serious weapons - the great Bouncy Castles of Doom.

Ottawa’s mayor, Jim Watson, expressed his concern

"It's disturbing when you see the protest turning into what looks like some kind of a fun carnival, where they've got bouncy castles, and hot tubs, and saunas"

In decades to come, however it pans out, 2022 will be known as the year of the “bouncy castle insurrection”.

No need to panic though - the brave and fearless defenders of freedom, Ottawa police, have it all in hand. Here’s a picture after their daring capture of one of these weapons of mass destruction.

(image courtesy of the one and only bad cat)

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