No, this is not one of my attempts at humour. This is a re-writing of the Lord’s Prayer by author S.J. Green in his book Noah Can’t Even.
I haven’t read the book but in one school, at least, it has created a bit of a kerfuffle. You can read the full context here, but the long and short of it is that the Education Commission for the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Southwark was not best pleased that this book had been selected as the focus for World Book Day at one of the Catholic schools in their diocese. It was even less pleased that the event was for 12 to 13 year olds.
Let’s see how suitable the material is for this age group
Let us pray.
Our Father, who art the gay boy? Noah be his name . . .
He makes Harry come. He gives him one. On earth as it is in Heaven . . .And lead him straight into temptation. Right into a gay bar. For Noah is a gay boy. Who likes to suck cock. For ever and ever. He’s gay.
Quite apart from the religious implications of re-writing this fundamental prayer in this way, I’m trying to piece together in what sort of world this is appropriate for 12 to 13 year olds?
I was around this age when I first read The Lord of the Rings. I spent 3 whole days doing nothing else but reading it. I may have skipped the odd Elvish poem, or seventeen, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was only when I was a bit older did I tire of endless descriptions of the beauty of Elven forests, and the growing romance between Frodo and Sam. Rather cynically, the older me found myself wishing Frodo would just give Sam a good old rogering and get it over with.
I read lots of books at that age (and still do) - mostly detective stories and fantasy/sci-fi with the occasional horror or thriller thrown in for good measure. And, yes, in some of them there were scenes of a sexual nature - but I was, after all, mostly reading books written for adults.
If either of my daughters had come back from school with Noah Can’t Even as recommended reading at that age I’m not quite sure what I would have done. Thankfully their teachers seemed to have a little more discernment back then so the issue never arose. Or perhaps passages about “sucking cock” were considered a little beyond the pale. I dunno - maybe they were all just ultra right wing fascistic traditionalists.
It’s one thing for kids to find and read this sort of material for themselves at this age. Quite another for teachers to promote this stuff.
I was brought up as a Catholic, although I did write to the Pope when I was 16 asking to be excommunicated (I was quite religious back then and wanted a ‘clean slate’ so I could decide for myself, independent of any baptism in which I had no choice in the matter). I am not convinced the Catholic church’s approach to sex education was entirely healthy either - at least not as I experienced it (and I wasn’t ‘educated’ by one of those priests, thankfully).
But, surely, there’s a line here somewhere and perhaps Noah Can’t Even has crossed it. I think so. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to be introducing my daughters to the ‘delights’ of cock sucking and anal sex (however humorously) in their literature homework at this age. Although why it’s necessary at any school age is also a bit beyond me.
I wouldn’t be in favour of banning this book either. We should be reading books (like Farenheit 451) instead of burning them.
It’s hard to get an accurate read on what’s happening in schools but lots of people are beginning to express a certain disquiet - and I suspect it’s not just the so-called regressive right wing misrepresenting things for political capital.
I am probably being an old fuddy-duddy but I definitely wouldn’t have wanted my daughters’ schools to be promoting any book like this. I haven’t read the book and lots of reviewers find it funny - and maybe it is - but many reviewers have also pointed out the heavy use of sexual innuendo.
At least the sexual innuendo in Shakespeare was largely incomprehensible.
I wish for a world where the innocence of our kids can be preserved beyond kindergarten - and only more mature kids can understand why this pool designer went so badly wrong
Blasphemous insanity! Why would you have a 12/13 year old read that?!
Two things - the RCC has a reputation for child abuse and pedophilia going back for a long time - at least 50 years, when I was growing up, there were certain priests that kids had to stay away from. And there was child abuse and rape of altar boys and the like - perhaps that's why there were just altar *boys* and not altar *girls*. The local Catholic Boy Scout troop was notorious for this, that's why I didn't join. I recall talking to one of the assistant scoutmasters at a party - the dude was pretty much openly gay at that point - and he said "well, you knew what you'd be getting in for if you joined, and if you didn't want the gay sex, you were smart not to join..." He stayed on as a scoutmaster for decades, the last I heard of him, he was running a local shelter for juvenile offenders and homeless youth. He was notorious, but nothing has ever been done about it, although he may finally have been kicked out of the Boy Scouts.
So there's that, and then there's the fact that there are kids who are pretty much gay at that age, and it's pretty obvious, and perhaps, besides the predatory aspects, there's a desire to keep them from becoming depressed or suicidal or committing suicide - I know of one guy who did that, he might have been naturally gay, or perhaps been one of the victims of abuse. So there's that, too.
The book as general reading material seems pretty inappropriate to me, and pretty much blasphemous. Does that diocese sponsor a witches coven, too? Sex on the altar on Friday midnights?