One Flu Over the Cuckoo's Nest

(Part 2)

Yesterday I tried to capture some of the rationality on display during the last couple of years. It’s Déjà Flu today as we continue on our quest to find the scintilla of common sense that surely must have existed somewhere on this planet.

Back in 2020 the world faced a terrible new threat. A new virus threatened to wipe out a good fraction of mankind, or womankind, or non-binarykind, or queerkind - well pretty much about any sort of kind really, although it has to be said the wrinklykind were most at risk. Even Latinxkind and Filipinxkind were under threat.

The magnificent folk on our beautiful planet went to sleep and woke with a RonaBoner determined to stick it to that nasty little gobshite of a virus. It was do or die. Even the vaccine, the Holy Ejaculate of Pfizer, was not enough. People were inseminated with the stuff and still died - but at least their death was more pleasant than if they hadn’t taken the Goo.

Covid really exposed the inequity between the rich and the poor. Only very rich people could afford to properly protect themselves with the required number of masks

It was a challenge. But like we always have, we rose to it. Evolution furnished us with brains and, boy, did we use them. What better way to display the wonders of our intellect than to wear a bottle on our heads? The bottleheads stand as a great example of just why humans came to dominate the planet.

The last guy here uses his artistic skills to send a critically important message : keep away from me! Personally, I think the message is superfluous, but some people find it difficult to interpret modern art installations.

If you couldn’t afford even a bottle you weren’t to be outdone, and cheap, simple, and effective means of protection could be yours for the taking if you joined the sub-community of baggers. Even if you could afford a mask, nothing says “I’m protected” quite like walking around in a huge plastic bag. The bonus here was that they even protected you from Granny. They do reach a certain age where hugging one becomes quite an ordeal and I marvel at why we never thought of this simple solution before. Covid, for all its faults, has brought us some welcome benefits.

Even better, those icky, snotty, disease-ridden kids could be properly bagged up now - we definitely shouldn’t be touching one of those. The guy on the beach, though, has come up with a genius idea - protect yourself from covid AND get a better tan. Sometimes I am truly humbled by the power of the human mind.

If you were more affluent you could afford to go a little upmarket and get a customised solution to all your covid woes. There was no reason why the middle-class couldn’t enjoy their usual pursuits.

If you were more environmentally conscious there were recycled solutions available if you didn’t want to harm our planet

Having looked more carefully at the pictures I actually hope to God these weren’t recycled solutions - at least not without some serious time in a washer, and probably a vat of disinfectant.

Even those afflicted with more awkward medical conditions benefitted from covid. The invisible man, for example, was now able to walk around, and go on holiday, without all of those discriminatory stares.

Perhaps the single biggest benefit of covid was the government mandates preventing ugly people from scaring others in public. Here’s the police valiantly trying to cover up a dangerously unphotogenic face in order to protect us all.

A big shout out to the boys in blue for putting themselves on the line, bravely risking life and limb to prevent the meltdown of our sensibilities.

I am also thankful to the mysterious powers of the universe - they came up with a virus that only affected the plebs. The elite were spared. I breathed a huge sigh of relief knowing that our lords and masters were going to be OK. Where would we be without them?

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