It's logic, Jim, but not as we know it

I know it’s hard, but cast your mind back nearly two years. Back to a time when things seemed to make some kind of sense. Unless you were talking to someone possessed by post-modernist claptrap you could have arguments in which logic played some role in the proceedings.

I don’t know how it played out in other countries, but in the UK when covid first reared its fugly spikes there was, at least, some internal logic to the proposed measures to combat this super-deadly unprecedented relatively medically-minor pandemic.

SARS-CoV-2 was known to be quite infectious. There was, then, the potential for health services to become overwhelmed as lots of people got ill in a very short timescale. Something, it was said, needed to be done to slow things down a bit so that health services could cope.

That was the argument - and it does have some internal logic.

The method adopted to attempt to achieve this slowing down was lockdown. Three weeks to flatten the curve, or “squash the sombrero” as our Bumbling Buffoon Boris, in a fit of cultural misappropriation, colourfully said.

That was the last time Mr & Mrs Logic were seen on Earth. They went on vacation in search of a sombrero galaxy to squash.

Since then, things have become more and more surreal - and there seems to be no slowing down, no chance of squashing this great sombrero of silliness.

Our Health Secretary Savage Jabber Sajid Javid, master of post-covid logic, sounds like this whenever he speaks about covid

Now that Omicron is in the process of spaffing its ultra-mutated spikes everywhere, he was asked if he would wear a mask if he was at a party, he said “It depends if I am walking around or sitting down”

Now that a few people in South Africa have a bit of a cold and a headache thanks to Omicron (it seems to be a bit more transmissible, but milder), we’ve had masks re-introduced in England - for 3 weeks. Three seems to a bit of a magic number doesn’t it? The rule of three. Three weeks, three masks, three jabs. Covid numerology for you.

But the covid-logic doesn’t stop there.

We now have to wear masks in shops - but not in pubs or restaurants.

We think the vaccines might not work against Omicron - so it’s important get vaccinated, or your booster.

I’m not making this stuff up. I so very much wish I was.

I wonder if, in the covid-induced post-logic era, TV game shows are going to look like this

People often rail against the lack of critical thinking these days. Honestly, right now, I’d take some evidence of any thinking at all as a plus.

One of my favourite examples of covid-logic was the lift-logic (US translation : elevator-logic) I took a picture of in Norwich, UK.

Four people only allowed in the lift (elevator) - but only if they face the corners.

If there are any aliens with haemorrhoids heading to Earth for treatment - I recommend they turn round before they get too close to Uranus.

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