I'll show you my selfish, if you'll show me yours

This meme is expressing a very common sentiment these days.

You’re being selfish if you don’t wear a mask (also known as “wear one for the team”)

You’re being selfish if you don’t get vaccinated (also known as “take one for the team”)

These are emotional statements designed to elicit an emotional response - that of guilt. If you don’t do what we decree to be the right thing to do, you’re morally deficient. But just how rational are these statements? Is there any rational basis for the self-righteous and sanctimonious accusation of selfishness here?

I’m going to imagine a discussion between two people. One person we shall call Some Average Normal Entity (SANE) who doesn’t wear a mask and doesn’t want vaccines to be imposed on everyone. The other we shall call Fine Upstanding Citizen Keeping Everyone Responsible (FUCKER) who is zealously in support of the imposition of masks and vaccines.

SANE : so you think I’m being selfish by not wearing a mask?
FUCKER : yes, you are
SANE : why?
FUCKER : because masks reduce your risk to others. It’s a no-brainer
SANE : but they’re not perfect? They don’t reduce the risk to zero?
FUCKER : no - they only reduce the risk by a little bit, but that’s still worth doing
SANE : so let’s say they’re only 5% effective
FUCKER : that seems about right
SANE : I’m not sure it is even that high, but anyway, if I go to that pub without a mask I might lead to the death of 20 grannies?
FUCKER : maybe - best to be on the safe side and wear a mask
SANE : but if you go to the pub with a mask, you would only kill 19 grannies?
FUCKER : yes - that’s a 5% reduction
SANE : so if I want to go out and enjoy myself without a mask I’m selfishly killing 20 grannies, whereas you are unselfishly killing only 19?
FUCKER : We need to do everything possible to keep people safe
SANE : perhaps nobody should go out at all - we’d all be safe then
FUCKER : don’t be silly, people need to live
SANE : oh, so there’s a level of acceptable risk then?
FUCKER : of course there is - we’d all have terrible mental health issues otherwise
SANE : but there have been numerous studies showing that masks can cause harm - higher levels of carbon dioxide breathed in, the stunting of educational and emotional development in kids, not to mention the psychological impact on everyone being continually in a heightened state of awareness, and so on
FUCKER : conspiracy theories - you shouldn’t believe what you read on the internet
SANE : so who told you that masks were harm-free?
FUCKER : I read it on the internet

A polite conversational interlude now ensues, discussing last night’s football and the blisteringly interesting fact that it rained today

SANE : so what do you make of Austria confining the unvaxxed to their homes?
FUCKER : seems like a sensible and necessary step to me
SANE : why is that?
FUCKER : because it keeps us all safer
SANE : doesn’t the vaccine work then? I thought once you’d been vaccinated you were protected? Funny old vaccine that doesn’t actually protect you from people who haven’t been vaccinated
FUCKER : yes, but it only reduces your chance of serious symptoms. You can still get infected and transmit the virus. Boris Johnson told us that - you really should keep up with the news, you know
SANE : OK, so if you can still be infected and still transmit it, if vaccinated, how does segregating the unvaccinated help?
FUCKER : I think you’re less likely to be infected, or transmit if you’re vaccinated
SANE : how much less?
FUCKER : I don’t know
SANE : so it’s like masks then? You might be a bit safer if you’re vaccinated?
FUCKER : Yes - got to do everything we can
SANE : how deadly do you think this virus is? I mean it seems like a whole lotta trouble to go to. It must be very deadly?
FUCKER : it’s really deadly
SANE : if I told you that only about 3,730 people under the age of 50 had died of it in England & Wales out of a total population of around 37 million under 50’s - which is about 0.01% or 1 death for every 10,000 people in the under 50’s. Does it still sound all that deadly?
FUCKER : where did you get those figures? They sound made up to me
SANE : they might have been made up - I got them off a government website - the Office of National Statistics
FUCKER : oh
SANE : and why are we vaccinating kids?
FUCKER : what do you mean? Kids need protecting from covid too
SANE : but only 68 people under the age of 20 have died of it in England & Wales. There are about 14 million people under 20. That’s a really, really small percentage. Like around 0.0005% or about 1 in 200,000. Doesn’t sound like they need the vaxx
FUCKER : but every kid’s life is precious
SANE : yes, I agree. So why are we injecting stuff that, according to some studies, seems to be causing myocarditis at a rate of something like 1 in every 10,000 jabs? Myocarditis is pretty serious you know. You’ve seen all those athletes dropping dead of heart attacks recently?
FUCKER : you’re just a conspiracy loon - let’s go back to talking about the weather

And so it goes. I’m sure you’ve all either had, or played in your head, these kinds of conversations. And I’m sure you’ll all spot that I didn’t even bring out the best arguments on the SANE side. I was trying to inject a modicum of reality.

If someone tells you you’re being “selfish” by not masking, or vaccinating - remember that they’re being selfish too. They are still prepared to go out, enjoy themselves, live their allowed lives, but just kill slightly fewer than you (allegedly)! They have a level of acceptable selfishness - whereas your selfishness is just beyond the pale.

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