I Survived

The headline from the Metro says it all

Britain burns in extreme heatwave as people are told ‘don’t travel’

It was a hellish vista, like watching a BLM protest in the US but without any protesters.

Weather maps turned from green to red and the media did what it does best - trying to scare the living crap out of people.

This time it was not without justification. I had saved up all week to go and buy a couple of everyday items from the shop and had to walk because a tank of petrol now costs more than I paid for the car. It was scary. I donned my reflective tin foil hat and my factor concrete sunscreen

and headed out into the maelstrom. It was like training for a trip to Venus.

Trees everywhere were burning because that’s what happens to trees when temperatures get to about 35 degrees Celsius. There are now no trees left in the UK at all. But it wasn’t just trees.

Several people who hadn’t taken the same precautions as me spontaneously burst into flame. There was nothing I could do for them. And that’s just in my small village. The dire warnings of experts that there could be 10,000 excess deaths in the UK in just 2 days seemed like they were coming true.

Although, the Imperial College team did predict 37,561,054,887,994.34512 deaths in the UK. So I was hoping I would be the 0.34512 death if I was going to be affected at all.

It was hard to walk - all the roads and pavements had melted, and I noticed several strange metallic pools which I assumed had once been buses and cars.

This climate change stuff isn’t to be trifled with. People were scared. From open windows I could hear families praying to Saint Greta and their eerie mantra of “how dare you!” could be heard drifting across the cursed wasteland of what was once the UK.

It was getting scary in Europe, too. I mean look at how much more RED things have become in just 5 short years

The longer term projection is even more scary

And we’re not out of the woods, not that we have any left, when things cool down.

In a way I’m grateful. I was going to risk SADS and do a spot of gardening this week, but I have been saved from that extreme danger. I don’t have a garden any more - everything that once was growing is now glowing. Another bonus is that it’s too hot at night for a duvet and so I haven’t had to put the ambulance services on high alert this week at all as there has been no need to shake it.

Now all that’s left to worry about is thunderstorms and how to scrape the melted vehicles off the road. Until the charts turn red again, that is.

And we knew, and as so very many of us predicted, once the covid hysteria had died down they would ramp up the climate change hysteria. Expect more, much more, of it. It will be relentless.

Keep those tin foil hats at the ready - you’re going to need them.

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