In a tale of ingenuity and derring-do no doubt soon to be immortalized by Marvel, the Queen-Presumptive of Scotland has announced a breath-takingly simple solution to end covid, once and for all.
If only we’d thought of it sooner.
Actually, even though I’m a huge fan of the Marvel movies in general, I think I’d rather spend 3 hours of my life watching people saw the bottom off doors than watching the mind-numbingly atrocious Eternals movie, one of Marvel’s latest offerings, but that’s another matter.
I have a deep admiration for the Scots. One of the most successful empires ever seen, the Roman Empire, effortlessly conquered territory after territory. They got to Scotland and said “no fucking way - we need to build a wall to keep these buggers out”. I don’t think they even bothered to put a door in it.
The Scots are fierce and smart, and they’ve always appreciated the benefit of ventilation.
But want to hear something amazing? It surprised me, and no doubt it will surprise you too. In a ground-breaking new study published in The International Journal of Gaseous Emissions, scientists have shown that doors can actually be opened.
I know, right? Crazy isn’t it? Who would have thought it?
And who cares if a fire door looks like this as long as it saves people from the scourge of covid eh?
Talking of simple solutions, I used to pose this problem to my students and colleagues at a Science and Engineering University. It’s something that actually happened to me.
I was buying a balloon, filled with helium, for the birthday of my friend’s daughter. The party shop was on the 3rd (top) floor of a mall. I bought the balloon and they tied a little weight to the end. As I was walking out of the shop the ribbon they’d used came undone, and I was left with a weight in my hand with the balloon sailing up to the domed roof of the mall. I went back into the shop to explain what had happened. Within a few minutes the staff in the shop had recovered my balloon.
How did they do it?
It’s a question I’ve posed to students, professional scientists and engineers. I’ve had only one correct answer (from a student).
Full marks to Cindy and Joel.
This was exactly how they did it - another helium balloon, a loop of sticky tape, and a long ribbon - just let it rise up to the balloon on the roof and, voila, the 2 balloons stuck together.
Lovely solution - but some interesting ones below that I hadn't heard before (particularly like the ones about creating a differential pressure gradient).
The line about putting a door in Hadrian's Wall. ROFL.