Do you have a Corona-boner?

No, I’m not talking about some new symptom of covid19 to add to the already impressive list, but alluding to the fact that some people seem to be, erm, perversely excited by the covid pantomime. The fetishization and near-worship of lockdowns, masks, sanitizer, screens, vaccines - you name it - seems to have fired these people up more than an overdose of Viagra.

Those of us who don’t buy into their fetishes have been hectored and bullied and shamed. Those of us who haven’t panicked, or tried to force others to adopt some strange ritualistic practice, we’re the ones thought of as perverted. Those of us still desperately trying to cling to the last vestiges of normality in a deeply abnormal world, are the outcasts, the selfish, the unclean.

Like some porn addict lost in an ever-increasing spiral of depravity, looking for even more grotesque thrills, the call has always been faster, harder, longer. More, more, more. We need more.

Three lockdowns didn’t work? Do it again - but quicker this time, and even more rigid this time. One mask didn’t work? You need two, or even three. Vaccines struggling? Get boosted - one in each arm and two in each eyeball. That’ll do the trick.

Keep doing it; my covid lust hasn’t been satiated yet. Keep doing it; build the quarantine camps. Keep doing it; exclude the unvaxxed from everything. This conversion therapy has to work sometime.

I do wonder whether in some future time, if indeed we ever do get out of this appalling mess, we’ll look back and include virophilia as a new kind of paraphilia in the DSM.

This all reminds me of an old joke.

An elderly lady, with real bad shakes, walks into a sex shop.
John, the proprietor, is a bit bemused
Mary : M-m-m-y na-name is M-m-ary
John (getting a bit concerned now) : I’m John, how can I help you?
Mary : Y-y-young man, do you s-s-sell those large s-s-silver v-v-vibrators? The o-o-ones w-w-ith the b-b-b-umps on them
John (trying to hide his horror) : Err, yes we do, Madam
John reaches to the shelf and takes one down
John : These ones?
Mary : Y-y-yes, that’s th-th-the one
John : Would you like one?
Mary : N-n-no. I-I-I just w-w-want to know how to t-t-turn the th-th-thing off

I think I’m like Mary when it comes to covid-mania - I just want to know how to turn the bloody thing off.

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