A Minority Report
I wanted to write about this a couple of weeks ago - but I’ve been trying to ease off a bit. I have retreated into the vegetative state known as Netflixarrhoea - set the sofa to recline, fill up the popcorn bucket, and forget about the terrible state of the world for a while.
I might have overdone it a little. My remaining neuron is screaming at me “no more” as I wander around the house gibbering “yippee kayak, other buckets”.
On the plus side, if I can survive a few days binge-watching of Brooklyn 99, I am probably in good shape to survive the vicissitudes of modern life. I have forgotten where my bathroom is, but otherwise my brain is in great shape to deal with inanity.
In order to properly fight against the challenges we face I’m considering ordering one of these
But I’m heartened by recent news that our governments are doing all that they can to help. They have seen over the last couple of years how not enough people can be relied upon to behave, to think in the right way, to believe in their role as sole promoters of truth and goodness. Something has to be done about that.
Leading the way, the femme fatale of Canada, the popinjay of perfection, Jussie Trudette and his team, who have bravely survived a despicable attempt by unclean hairy white supremacists (driving horribly polluting large vehicles) to force them into a bouncy castle, might just have the answer with a new bill under proposal:
The Post Millennial reports on this in a negative way. How dare they!!! Just look at Jussie’s hair. How can anyone with such a crown of divine magnificence ever be criticised?
A few people during the recent Trucker’s insurrection likened Jussie and his government to another famous historical leader with extraordinary hair - albeit facial hair, a rectangular patch of magnetism that invaded Poland in 1939. This is just not acceptable. We need to identify such hateful people before they have the chance to express their views. And lock them up.
These powers need to be extended. I’ve long since suspected Vera at number 52. She may look like a dear, sweet old lady and make wonderful cookies giving everyone a smile and bringing sunshine to everyone she meets - but I suspect she’s really a seething mass of wrong-think. The other day I think I even saw her without a mask. I’m pretty sure she has a stack of Uzi’s and Nazi paraphernalia in her basement. But even if she doesn’t, we can’t allow the chance that her hateful views might be heard by others - I’m sure she’s just biding her time, waiting for that opportune moment to disperse her vile ideology of traditional values.
The wording of the bill is extraordinary. If you’re worried that someone might, at some unspecified time in the future, promote hate in some unspecified way, then report them to the authorities!
Freeze Vera’s bank accounts - lock the rancid old bitch up - we don’t want her cookies here.
Report from the You Ess of Ay: I live about 10 miles from one of the largest airports in the country. Since 6 am, helicopters have been buzzing the air, almost nonstop. The last time I experienced anything like this was in the weeks following 9/11. Make of it what you will, but war is always a great tool to reshuffle the deck and reset things.
As soon as the bill becomes law, the good citizens of Canada should report the Duplicitous Ken Doll (by courtesy of Bret Weinstein) en masse. He might go blackface again any time!